Boboy S. Consunji: Postcard from Manila

Social media in The Philippines is becoming bland, devoid of energy and emotion, non-committal, too subtle and agreeable. Campaigns & Grey Philippines’ Boboy S. Consunji (pictured) thinks the time is ripe for genuine conversations and for bold and honest narratives.

THE SNARKY SMILE

Just this morning, I was about to comment on a post my friend made about the political situation in my country, but I stopped. My friend and I have found ourselves on distant sides of the political spectrum ever since before the Philippines had its presidential elections.  It was a sad thing to have restrained myself from commenting. Of course, we do know it is a good idea to stop oneself from saying anything if it was going to just drive a wedge into friendship, but to have simply stopped myself from offering a dissenting opinion? Why have I become afraid of the comment space?

The comment space used to be a fun thing on Facebook. These days, with the polarized political air that hovers in the country, there’s just a little more hesitation to comment.

I know a lot of friends who would rather talk about a certain friend’s politically-charged or politically-invested post, than simply say what’s on their mind on the space that Facebook provides for any opinion. I used to look forward every day to looking at friends’ silly memes, food porn and selfies just to offer my own kind of silliness on whatever has been posted.

It’s hard to do that when, these days, most of Facebook has been about President Duterte, extra-judicial killings, the war on drugs, the exchange rate–the very things we should actually be discussing and having conversations about.  Instead of commenting, I have occasionally succumbed to what my friend calls passive-aggressive posts–those posts we make with hopes that the people who annoy us with their opposing political views would get our point and be affected somehow. And face it, we all are scared of being confronted on our own posts by anyone who has a differing view–that is why we don’t do it.

Most of us have become protective of our Facebook pages. So, instead of being engaged in conversation about the things that truly matter, we tell people to bug off and post their opinions on their own pages. If the likes are not enough to make us feel good about what we have posted, we join groups to feel good about where we stand on issues. We have groups where we talk about other people who don’t share our position. It has come to a predictable boring state, because each time I post my reaction to the day’s news, I know exactly who among my friends will give the thumbs up, and maybe, fill the comment space with agreeable words, emoticons and stickers.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior is generally described as aggression that is not obviously resentful.  It avoids direct confrontation or honest communication.  When you feel upset, you bottle your feelings up, procrastinate, be obstructive or shut off verbally.  Or you get manipulative be appearing polite and well-meaning.

It’s a personality disorder that usually happens to people who as kids have been restrained to expressing their feelings freely.  Sure, that may sound too extreme for some of us who were loved by our parents and didn’t have to go through enough emotional traumas to resort to such destructive behavior.  But our constant interaction of Facebook, where idiocy, vitriol and ludicrousness are common currencies, may force us to develop defence mechanisms not unlike the ridiculed child who withdraws from family conversations.

Are we turning ourselves into brands on Facebook?  Bland, devoid of energy and emotion, non-committal, too subtle and agreeable to be noticed?

Passive-aggressive posts are Facebook’s equivalent of how we try to get away with knocking down the competition in Philippine advertising. We are not allowed to name the competitor’s brands, so there is always Brand X. The anonymity saves us from punitive action by the advertising regulatory board. So, we use Brand X.

The sins of omission and non-confrontation are also apparent in public health in the Philippines.  About 60% of Filipino youth, aged 15-19, estimated at 20 million, believes that a person can get HIV by sharing food with someone.   The incidence of teenage pregnancies has doubled in the last 10 years, and this is attributable to the lack of education on modern protection methods.  Yet, institutions – civil, religious or political – are passive and aggressively elitist in thinking they are above communicating these issues.

It’s ironic that while the Internet has enabled us to get more “social” by easily interacting with countless people that we cannot all at once see offline, the conversation has now been mostly one-sided.  We don’t display our anger or any true emotion for fear of conflict.  So we sub-tweet to process that energy.  Or, put a smiley face after a comment to offset mean behavior.

It’s a condition that’s infecting the social network populace in my country.  My fear is that indirectness would be as customary as our leader calling dissenters “sons of whores”. Facebook-ing marketers could be stricken with the disorder at such alarming levels that they would stop being honest about consumer interactions. Circuitous and duplicitous the selling could get.

The time is ripe for genuine conversations, for bold and honest narratives. Respect is earned when man – and brands – behave with clarity and integrity.

Boboy S. Consunji is CEO at Campaigns & Grey Philippines. The opinions expressed in this article represent the author’s views and not necessarily those of his employer.